surprises

you know right when i think you've stopped impressing me, you prove me wrong. i love that.

i just came back from chesca's new apt. me nicole and chesca spent the day running errands and eating :\ of course. we then went back to her apt to meet up with emily and savannah. only we would have fun drinking beers, eating pizza and scrapbooking. it was nice to hang out with the old group again, i forgot how much i missed them. their company never gets old. anyway, the premiere is tomorrow afternoon and of course me and jen have to be there early to help set up things. so ive set a goal of waking up at 8:45 tomorrow morning.

i miss a lot of people. since ive been back home for vacation, i havent seen much of anyone but the usual people. i should call up people that seemed to have disappeared off the face of the earth.

i really dont know about you. i fail to EVER understand you in any way, so i think im just gonna give up. its been a couple years now and ive given up on you many times. just cause we cant hold a relationship, you find a way to make it impossible to even hold a friendship. you give me major mood swings and it sucks knowing that you still have this stupid invisible hold on me. just stop. it bugs me that youre probably talking to someone i dont like about me. not everyone has to know the situation were in and id appreciate it if you didnt tell everyone that seems to know me. i just dont know what to do with you anymore. i tried backing off and not talking to you for months, but that doesnt seem to help. maybe i do want something, i did want something at some point. but now i absolutely dont. youre ridiculously stubborn and unbelievable. whatever happens, happens. if either me or jen explode on you, you know why. but i have exploded on you before and that didnt seem to do anything, besides maybe make tears form and whatnot. just stop. im starting to regret you and i feel horrible about that. dont make me result to hating you.