boxes

After settling into my new place in Fullerton, my family has sold their house and moved into another house in the same city. Once an Arcadian, always an Arcadian. I'm currently sitting in the unpacked living room watching food network waiting for Vo to go on lunch then a work meeting at 3. I forgot how relaxing not having class on Fridays were.

On another note, school has gotten better. I finally got back into the hang of things and am pleasantly surprised by my persistence when doing assignments. Weird. Maybe I have too much time on my hands. Besides school, the weather in LA has been on the fritz. From being burning hot (burning=111 degrees, no joke.) to being extremely cold and raining. I just want some consistency in my life! :( haha kidding. But no really. This strange weather needs to stop, even though it is giving me a chance to wear every item in my closet.

blah

2nd week of school and I've never been more sad. that's an exaggeration, but still. usually i'm somewhat excited to get back to school, but this semester...I wake up hating life. which makes me sound borderline depressed, but I promise, I'm not. I think.

anyway, I've finally settled into the new place with jen.


not too bad right? I'm hungry. back to being a starving college kid. I really hate being back.

summer

my summers half way through and I haven't written once on this blog. I guess a little too much has been going on--in the best way possible. So far my summer consists of being on the road, eating my heart out and lots of sleeping and cuddling. I can't complain. one more month and I throw my life away for csuf. sad how much I'm not feeling school right now.

oh, and I guess while you're at it, check out our new NFP website!

sleepless

funny how I can't sleep because earlier I saw a mosquito fly by and I keep thinking I feel it crawling on me. paranoia has never been a friend to me. and apparently summer isn't a friend to me right now. I don't know if it's the hot weather or the fact that I'm not in school, but everything about summer is making me lack the motivation to do anything. I'm just a lazy bum that lugs around dragging their feet. I'm hoping to get a job sometime soon. either at Louise's in Pasadena or for Benefit in West Covina. we'll see how that goes.

As for this weekend...Dodger game! time to get drunk, sweat, yell and eat!

jinxed it.

damnit. time to catch up now.

better

i don't want to jinx it, but i think i'm able to slowly relax now. finals are coming up, but if i time things correctly, it shouldn't be too stressful between studying and writing papers. whew, i hope this all works out.

jen and i went to irvine today to soak in the radiating sunlight. went to 85C to get pasteries and my sea salt coffee. sat there and talked for awhile about stuff. i tried doing hw but i couldn't concentrate with the girl next to us speaking loudly about the latest gossip. so i gave up and read over jen's paper instead. we stayed for a good 2 hours before we left to the LAB anti-mall which was pretty...ok? hipster hotspot, that's for sure. but the walk was pretty nice, art everywhere you look.

i need tomorrow to pass by quick so thursday comes. what am i doing on thursday? going to the hungtington library and the norton simon with jen. i haven't used my camera in awhile, and i really need to. plus i heard the huntington library's pretty amazing.

breaks

taking a break from doing hw. the past couple of weeks have been a handful. sorry for all the emotional posts lately. seems like lately this blog has been drained of all happiness and replaced with shit. i'm trying to get my brain to function in the correct way but i don't really know what the correct way is anymore? so i just figured whatever happens happens.

everyday this week has been absolutely beautiful, it's a shame that i haven't taken full advantage of that. been stuck inside my dark apt lately, cramming useless information into my head for classes. i'm slowly counting the days until this semester is over so i can maybe relax. i know jen and i are planning on taking some summer courses at pcc so hopefully that won't kill me over.

trying to get back into the funk of things, whatever that means.

shit

shit happens. that's all I could really say in response to what's been happening. I'm not necessarily not letting myself get down and sad over all of this. I think that part is inevitable. but I'm not making excuses nor am I gonna soak in my own pool of self-loathing. shit happens. that's all I can really say. I'm in a fucking mess and I'm going to get myself out.

endless?

i'm not sure how to think anymore. i've realized that the way i think and the way i handle things aren't exactly the "correct" or right way that i want to deal with my problems. i tend to put parts of my life into little snapshots, instead of one unified concept. every time i encounter a problem, i usually convince myself that once this is over, i could really start living my life and everything will be perfect and i'll be happy. why? i'm sure this might be common for other people to think this way, wishful thinkers maybe? the thing is, i try to live for the moment, in the present, is this holding me back or helping me? i guess it is helping me, by having me not think of the possible dilemmas that i can face later in life, but it really sounds naive now that i think about it. im lying to myself, because i know that if i do think of all the possible horrid things that could happen in the near future that i am going to have to deal with, i'll just stress myself out.

thinking this way definitely has it's negative side. it makes my life seem like (as sad as it sounds) an endless string of conflict and turmoil thats never really gonna stop. thinking this way and completely blocking out all possible problems in the future is causing me to get dragged and pulled down this stupid endless string. and even worse, it's making me live my life almost feeling lifeless, thinking that my suffering is never going to really end. granted, i use "suffering" in very light terms. my life doesn't really suck that much folks, it just seems nonexistent at this point. i'm busying myself with pointless schooling that i don't completely believe in.(jen knows what i'm talking about.) the whole school system is f'up and not what it's really meant to be. yeah, there are times when i really believe or want to believe in the school system, but most the time, it's all bullshit leading up to the almighty piece of paper that says you are now competent and ready to really "start" your life. it's all endless, much like this post is looking to be.

mysterious

my spring break has officially started. so far, this sums up the past 3 days bacon pancakes at the original pancake house, lager flavored gelato from frati's, esta's birthday at the highlands, going to "vietnam" with friends and mysterious sore throats. not bad so far. looks like this spring break is going to go by way too fast.

class of '08, not so great.

came across the high school yearbook today, not such a good idea. what happened to everyone?

seriously

i havent written in awhile. why? i dont know...work and school i guess, the usual. but im not here to complain. not wasting this rare post on that. in the past month or so ive been through scares, laughs and almost dying due to not recieving enough air all in some relation to cheese. (dont ask.) im not really sure what im going to be posting about but i just felt the urge to do it as i take a break from immersing myself in my shitton of hw again.

i know i keep saying that it isnt myself to do some things, but why am i making excuses? i do what i do and honestly, i feel like sometimes i make these excuses to make what im doing ok. when in reality, theres really nothing wrong with what im doing. i havent been getting into the groove of things that i usually do, like blogging, but i have been getting into the habit of doing other things. i dont know where this is going but i guess im just trying to say that im tired of making excuses for myself, tired of making myself feel guilty for doing things that i have the damn right to do, as everyone else does. i can be forgetful, irresponsible, immature, stupid and loud simply because im physically able to. im not making excuses anymore.

i feel like sleeping. it feels like its 2am but its barely 12am. night.

leaf

Write one leaf about something you do in the kitchen.

kill ants because everytime i come back from class there has been a party of ants around the sink.

leaflette

so a while back i was on my tumblr and i came across this pretty cool blog that posts a leaf a day. it's meant for others to view it and write a blog entry each day that follows along with that leaf posted for that day. i've been meaning to get started doing this but with school and work and...sleep, i haven't had the time to get around to doing it. so today, i'm starting my first leaf. i think it would be overly ambitious of me to say i'm going to be posting an entry daily, each with a different leaf. but i really will try to post a leaf whenever i can. so here it goes...

today's leaf: shooting stars.

right when i think of shooting stars i think back to the time when i was working at bp. there was this one day where i was working with vivian mong and her boyfriend stopped by to drop off some corner bakery. we were all talking and they brought up that they were going to the meteor shower that night with a bunch of friends and asked if i wanted to come along. so i called emily sam, sonia, and...i think there was one more person but i forgot :\ so after work we hopped into the car and followed vivian and her friends up to some mountain (all while singing loudly to the hairspray soundtrack might i add) and parked off to the side. we all spread out on our car's roofs and waited to see what we thought would be a bunch of streaking lights cross the sky. we didnt see much but i remember seeing about 4. pathetic i know.

heres the blog link, if anyone is interested: http://writeoneleaf.tumblr.com/

who?

the semester started today. i'm starting to get better from being sick but i still can't look down without having boogers slide down my face...

i haven't been blogging lately and i really should get back into the habit. i've been enjoying the last weeks of my winter break and it really did seem like i ran around anywhere and everywhere before i got sucked back into the shithole called spring semester. i woke up this morning with the worst feeling ever. i hate first days the most. those awkward first orientation games and introductions. i really do want to just get into class, hear the lecture, learn (optional) and leave.

so i woke up at 8, showered, got dressed and parked. walked into the classroom and realized that i was looking at the wrong class day schedule and that i was about 2 hours early for class. so what do i do? get up, walk out and run into jeff! so we walked around campus and caught up before heading to class. i grabbed a copy of the daily titan and sat in class not looking at anyone and started reading the newspaper. it's not that i don't want to meet anyone, it's just at this point, im just too lazy and i don't care enough to put in that extra effort to have awkward conversations with random people...maybe i'm not explaining this right. i don't know, whatever. jen gets me.

ok time to watch some more anthony bourdain before i go to bed. gooooooodnight!

random pictures from my winter break:

YES

tonights dinner. mmmm

it smells like updog.

it seems only typical that once all the fun starts, my break is coming to an end. i picked up my parents on weds. night from LAX, beginning the hop over from being partially on break, to being on full-time break. no more cooking steaks and staying home to watch the siblings. not that i dont like steaks and spending time at home with jo and al. but in the end, break is break and i needed to get out.

my voice is currently burnt out from when hilda, trixie, krystle and I went to disneyland on friday. this weekend has seriously been really nice. crazy, but nice. spent the nights at tokyo table drinking lychee martinis with friends and spent the days sleeping off the night before. i got to see a lot of old faces i havent seen in awhile and also got to meet a lot of new faces--speaking of faces, the four girls tried our first JUMBO turkey leg at disneyland. there were alot of stares as we took turns biting it around the park but in the end, we were all more than satisfied.

ok i'm gonna watch a movie. i'm starting to get used to sleeping alone at the apartment. im a sad person.

heres some pictures from this weekend. im too lazy to really put up more. if this isnt enough to eliminate your boredom, you could always see all of them on facebook.

Disneyland:

yeah...space mountain never fails me.

turkey leg madness.

Eric and Prisma's birthday party:

Tokyo Table nights














FIN.